As I shuffle into 2022 healthy and happy, I have to give 2021 the props it deserves! 2021 for me was the year of YES! It was a lot of growth, healing, introspection and saying Yes to things normally I would not do. On New Year’s Day last year, I did a breathwork practice on the Beach, followed by a polar bear plunge into the Pacific – and it was exhilarating, and I gave myself a huge pat on the back for that. Did I do it again this year? Uh yah-No. Last year saw me doing a lot of Reiki healing, a vision board, on-line dating (whole other blog post for that!), many beach walks with Bailey, and also a 7-week grief therapy course where I really got to grieve my divorce and letting go of my husband and my dream of having a successful marriage (that was a big deal for me – not sure why, but I really wanted to stay married – regardless of the state of our marriage and its challenges).
The one thing that really gave me so much joy and internal contentment was that I wrote myself a letter last New Year’s Day on what I wanted to manifest for 2021. Most of it came to fruition. The most surprising part of this letter was that I wrote such a loving and forgiving letter to myself and that no matter what I could show up for myself and I mattered. There was no negative self-talk, or lofty goals that were too hard to achieve – it was just pure love for me and how I was able to keep moving into the light. Negative self-talk is something that I’ve had to dealt with for a long time, because no matter how sober I am – I always have that nagging negative Nancy voice telling me “I can’t.” Two years ago, I thought I would never be able to heal from my divorce and move on. I wanted to just sleep all day, eat sugar and cry as much as I could. I cried a lot. I cried for the loss of him, the loss of us and the loss of a marriage – a hard marriage at times, that also brought much joy. Here I sit two years later in such a better mental state than I was. How did I do it? I didn’t really, time and prayer did it. I prayed a hell of a lot and with time, the edges of pain softened. The 7-week grief recovery program I did, with a certified grief counselor, was a game changer for me. I was able to have more empathy for myself, and for him. I could say all the things I forgot to, and I could forgive more than I thought I could. My practitioner was kind, patient and compassionate and she held space for me that I didn’t even know I needed. It was cleansing and needed. And I needed each and every experience that 2021 gave me. It gave me options, choices, grace, and opportunities where I was able to drive the narrative and turn it over to God. A lot of what happened was me just doing and then releasing the outcome and seeing what God had in store for me.
I’m excited for 2022 – I’m healthy and happy, Bailey is thriving and loving beach life, I feel safe and secure in all my relationships, my sobriety feels strong and I’m aging gracefully (as much as I can with getting Botox here and there), and I’m doing well in my career (my company had a few big changes at the end of 2021)! I saw so many memes, poems, and resolution posts for 2022 – but the best thing I read was something a sponsee shared with me, and I thought I’d share it here with you.
Welcome to Flight 2022! We are prepared to take off into the New Year. Please make sure your attitude is secured and locked in an upright position. All self-destructive thoughts should be turned off at this time. All negativity, hurt and discouragement should be put away. Should we lose altitude under pressure during the flight, reach up and pull-down a prayer. Once your faith is activated you can assist other passengers. There will be NO BAGGAGE allowed on this flight. We are cleared for take-off.
