Dearly Beloved….

Early sobriety & friendship
March 24, 2021
17 years
May 11, 2021

Over the weekend I thought about how I needed to do some blogging – but I got busy with life and playing tour guide for my niece who was visiting.  Today I realized that 5 years ago Prince died. That one hit me. Here is the post I wrote back then, and I wanted to share it.  At the time I wrote it we didn’t know that he had died from an overdose.  An overdose that was accidental.  Such a tragedy to the music world.

It’s short, so here it is, again.  Five years later.


Normally I blog about alcoholism and addiction – and hopefully we won’t need to do that with an upcoming Prince post, but todays post is about Prince and why this one hurts so much.

Over the past few days I’ve been just as sad and distraught (is that too strong of a word?) as the global force of humans has been over the loss of our famed US Artist Prince.  I have to say, I wasn’t a big Bowie fan, so that one didn’t sting as much, and I was a big and still am an Eagles fan, and Glenn Fry was very sad and tragic – but this one hurts to the core –  to the I need a tissue and I’m gonna cry a bit while I listen to this song or hear this tribute or watch this person say how Prince affected their life.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m in the right genre when his music burst onto the radio scene back in the 80s (I’m in my late 40s) or if it’s because he’s was the coolest most badass entertainer who had these bitchin’ clothes and mysterious personality – but it hurts.

It’s only been a few days and I still find myself listening to the tributes and following the news about his death.   One of the biggest questions is “how did he die?”  and I guess I could write a whole other piece about that, but I’ll wait until the toxicology report comes back, because if he was trying to manage pain with a doctor prescribed opiate, then yes, that’s a whole other article where I could bitch and complain about god damn doctor’s prescribing pain medication to anyone, let anyone healthy vegans who don’t use drugs or drink, to manage their pain – but I don’t know the full story there, so I’ll leave that be for now.

For me personally, Prince embodied more than just an amazing talent who was a great humanitarian and only wanted to help others with his gift of song writing and kindness.  He was part of my teen years and my coming of age – he gave us license to say “Shit yah and let loose.  He gave us energy, dance and inspiration to be whomever, and whatever, we wanted to be. Not that I crafted my life because Prince was my sole inspiration, but because I could feel him more than the others.  I could feel that pain of wanting to be loved and accepted and I could understand what his lyrics meant and I got it.  I could feel carefree and I could be okay with doing the hand gestures that collided with “I would die for you” and I could connect with my girlfriends in such a way that only one artist could make us do that – Prince.  Granted I too loved MJ and Madonna (and still do) and I was a follower of the Grateful Dead, but that’s a whole other connection that lasted for years, and still does.  However, with Prince he is reminding me and bringing me back to that time in my life where I didn’t have any responsibilities, car payments or TO DO lists.  It was so much easier back then – driving around in VF park with your car windows down, singing lyrics light-heartedly and laughing and hanging out.  Life was just easier than for our generation.  This loss for me is letting me mourn a time in my life that I didn’t know needed mourning. A time in my life, that although its over 30 years ago, seems like yesterday and makes me want to reach out and grasp for it just one more time.  Our time was real and it was special – no social media, no worrying about being home before dark – we connected on a human level where you could taste it.  Little did we know it was probably some of the best times of our life, and for that I’m forever grateful for Prince and The Purple Rain.

I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted to one time to see you laughing
I only wanted to see you
Laughing in the purple rain………




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