This post is a guest post from Courtney Leonard, another sober momma, blogger and recovery advocate! She started her blog in 2016, shortly after getting sober and she hasn’t looked back since.  This is her post about all the excuses we told ourselves why we SHOULDN’T get sober – I’m sure we can all relate! 

 

The picture of perfect health,

the one with the California glow and the yoga mat tucked neatly under her arm.

The one at the top of her game, raising a family while crushing her career in the male-dominated tech industry, regularly presenting to a room full of Silicon Valley tech executives without skipping a beat.

What a FRAUD.

That may have been what it looked like on the outside, but on the inside I was dying.

I was in pain.

I loathed the person I truly was behind closed doors.

 THAT SAME PICTURE OF PERFECT HEALTH DRANK EACH NIGHT AS IF SHE WAS PLEDGING A FRATERNITY.

THE SAME WOMAN with the seemingly perfect life woke up each morning with what felt like a truck parked on top of her head.

An 18-wheeler to be exact.

The rational, practical mom and business dynamo not only made deals with tech executives by day, but also with herself about ‘what not to do’ that night when it came to drinking.

Unlike the business deals she made, she knew all too well that the deals she made with herself would be broken time and time again.

And that the picture of perfect health would once again find herself drinking that night as if she had the BODY AND METABOLISM OF A LINEBACKER.

 

 Here are my 8 ALL-TIME FAVORITE EXCUSES I USED TO AVOID QUITTING DRINKING:

 

1. I’D QUIT, BUT being sober would be so – boring.

YES, I KNOW my life is pretty dull when I spend an entire day on the couch doing absolutely nothing because I’m so sick, and can’t EVEN envision making it to the bathroom if I have to puke again.

SURE, I know it’s still possible to party like a rockstar even if you’re sober; that I just need to LET GO OF and realize I’m not a member of Motley Crue.

 

BUT STILL.

 

2. I’D QUIT BUT my friends would give me a hard time and wouldn’t want to hang out with me anymore.

 

YES, I KNOW THAT MY FRIENDS HAVE SEEN ME AT MY WORST.

That they’d want to hang out with me even more if I quit drinking.

AND I KNOW THAT IF THEY’RE THE TYPE OF ‘FRIEND’ who’s going to give me a hard time about quitting anything that’s affecting my life in a negative way, they’re THE TYPE OF FRIEND THAT I SHOULD BE BREAKING UP WITH.

BUT STILL.

 

3. Everyone will judge me and talk about me behind my back.

 

YES, I KNOW that people will judge me and talk about me behind my back whether I quit drinking or not.

 

And I know that gossiping about me is just a way for others to distract themselves from the work that they need to do in order to improve their own lives.

 

BUT STILL.

 

4. People will think of me as ‘that girl’ who – gasp – needed help.

 

YES, I KNOW I wasn’t embarrassed last night when I was dancing on the tables and slurring my words while shouting offensive things to anyone within earshot; that feelings of embarrassment for getting help are normal.

 

BUT STILL.

 

5. I’D QUIT, but I’d be the only one who’s not drinking.

 

YES, I KNOW THERE ARE MILLIONS OUT THERE WHO CAN RELATE TO BEING A TEETOTALER.

 

THAT SOBER IS THE NEW BLACK.

 

That even short breaks from drinking alcohol improve health.  That not everyone who drinks too much identifies as being an alcoholic.

AND THAT GETTING SOBER COULD LEAD ME TO SHOWING UP AS MY HIGHEST SELF.

 

BUT STILL.

  

6. I’D QUIT, BUT THERE’S NO WAY I’M GOING TO AA,

sitting in some smoky, dreary basement and attending meetings for the rest of my life!

 

YES, I KNOW THAT MOST PEOPLE DON’T EVEN SMOKE ANYMORE.

 

Especially not in dreary basements.

 

And that AA is probably nothing like I just described.  That’s it’s up to me to find out for myself instead of painting a picture in my head of what it ‘might’ be.

 

I know that although AA may not be for everyone, it’s an amazingly great fellowship that has helped millions of its members get sober and stay sober.

 

AND I KNOW THAT RECOVERY IS NOT LINEAR. I HAVE THE POWER TO CONTROL THE DIRECTION I WANT TO TAKE WHEN IT COMES TO MY OWN JOURNEY.

 

AND THERE ARE SO MANY OPTIONS ASIDE FROM 12-STEP PROGRAMS that take a different approach when it comes to getting sober.

 

Modern options that are personalized to suit my lifestyle,

like Sober Mom Squad, offering an alternative to that all-too-familiar ‘mommy wine culture’, and, the Tempest, founded by the author of Quit Like A Woman, meeting anyone where they are with a personalized plan.

 

BUT STILL.

 

7. I’D QUIT, but it doesn’t make sense right now with so many things coming up.

Like our annual 4th of July BBQ and our summer vacation in August. 

 

YES, I KNOW IT’S FEBRUARY!

 

I know that if I’m holding off for an event FIVE months down the road, being busy isn’t the real issue after all.

 

THAT MAYBE I’M JUST NOT READY TO QUIT.

 

EVEN IF MY MIND TELLS ME OTHERWISE because I deal with guilt, anxiety and shame on a daily basis.

 

BUT STILL.

 

8. I’M NOT THAT BAD.

 

9. I HAVEN’T HIT ROCK BOTTOM. I have a job, a car. I pay my bills. YES, I KNOW THAT I DON’T HAVE TO ACTUALLY HIT ‘ROCK BOTTOM’ BEFORE QUITTING.

 

And that society has this ridiculous idea that you have to LOSE EVERYTHING FIRST.

 

And then it’ll be time to stop.

 

AND I KNOW THAT MY DAD ALWAYS HAD A JOB, A CAR. PAID THE BILLS.

 

HE NEVER LOST ANYTHING. EXCEPT his life to alcoholism. At the age of 64.

 

BUT STILL.

 

If alcohol is keeping you from living the life you want to live, that’s reason enough to stop.

 

You don’t have to do it alone! Ask for help!

 

 

Bio:

Courtney Leonard lives in Santa Cruz, California, with her husband, two sports-crazed teenage sons, and their dog, a German Shepherd rescue pup. Since entering recovery in May of 2016, instead of drinking, she now spends her spare time hiking, mountain biking, and enjoying the great outdoors.Courtney’s blog, Your Permagrin, shares her messy, bumpy, and sometimes embarrassing life when it comes to her struggles with everything from alcohol, to self-sabotage, and everything in between. Aside from being a recovery blogger, she is a sobriety life coach specializing in alcohol abuse with nationwide confidential recovery coaching solutions offered on her platform, Your Permagrin, and is currently working on a memoir to convey the message that no one is alone in their journey.