I listen to Sirius and Pandora when I’m driving and last night one of Prince’s songs came on and it still caused that emotional tear that it does when I hear his music nowadays.  I was wondering why this one still stings and its because  – well read below, as I wrote about this a couple years ago next month…and I didn’t know at the time that it was a drug induced death, and did that make it any worse? Not really, because I get addiction and that pain as well.  I felt more love for you because of that.  So, yes the pain is still there, not as sharp, more dull – but it can still evoke emotion in me – more than I care to admit.

Prince  – Why this one hurts so much.

Over the past few days I’ve been just as sad and distraught (is that too strong of a word?) as the global force of humans has been over the loss of our famed US Artist Prince.  I have to say, I wasn’t a big Bowie fan, so that one didn’t sting as much, and I was a big and still am an Eagles fan, and Glenn Fry was very sad too – but this one hurts to the core –  to the I need a tissue and I’m gonna cry a bit while I listen to this song or hear this tribute or watch this person say how Prince affected their life.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m in the right genre when his music burst onto the radio scene back in the 80s (I’m in my late 40s) or if it’s because he’s was the coolest most badass entertainer who had these bitchin clothes and a mysterious personality – but it hurts.

It’s only been a few days and I still find myself listening to the tributes and following the news about his death.   One of the biggest questions is “how did he die?”  and I guess I could write a whole other piece about that, but I’ll wait until the toxicology report comes back, because if he was trying to manage pain with a doctor prescribed opiate, then yes, that’s a whole other article where I could bitch and complain about god damn doctor’s prescribing pain medication to anyone, let anyone healthy vegans who don’t use drugs or drink, to manage their pain – but I don’t know the full story there, so I’ll leave that be for now.

For me personally, Prince embodied more than just an amazing talent who was a great humanitarian and only wanted to help others with his gift of song writing and kindness.  He was part of my teen years and my coming of age – he gave us license to say “Shit yah” and let loose.  He gave us energy, dance and inspiration to be whoever, and whatever, we wanted to be. Not that I crafted my life because Prince was my sole inspiration, but because I could feel him more than the others.  I could feel that pain of wanting to be loved and accepted and I could understand what his lyrics meant and I got it.  I could feel carefree and I could be okay with doing the hand gestures that collided with “I would die for you” and I could connect with my girlfriends in such a way that only one artist could make us do that – Prince.  Granted I too loved MJ and Madonna (and still do) and I was a follower of the Grateful Dead, but that’s a whole other connection that lasted for years, and still does.  However, with Prince he is reminding me and bringing me back to that time in my life where I didn’t have any responsibilities, car payments or TO DO lists.  It was so much easier back then – driving around in VF park with your car windows down, singing lyrics light heartedly and laughing and hanging out.  Life was just easier than for our generation.  No social media, no worry about being home before dark – life was real and you could taste it.  Little did we know it was probably some of the best times of our life, and for that I’m forever grateful for Prince and The Purple Rain.

I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted to one time to see you laughing
I only wanted to see you
Laughing in the purple rain………