I’ve been smoking cigarettes since I was 14. I’m 42 now, that’s 28 years of smoking. About 2 of those years I either wasn’t smoking at all or I was a very light smoker. Shit, that is a long ass time to smoke. I mean, for a long time I just didn’t care about quitting since I figured that I’d been smoking so long that I was going to get lung cancer, so what was the point? Yanno?
I mean, my great grandfather drank whiskey and smoked Pall Malls til he was like 92 or something and then he died. That’s a good long run in my book. When I recently moved back East I realized that it was just too effing cold to smoke! As trite and mundane as that sounds, its the truth. I’d been smoking in San Diego because it was so easy to. In the car with your windows down, sunroof open…that was pretty much how you drove around 12 months out of the year. It was just too easy NOT to smoke. Good tunes, cruising down the PCH, wind blowin in your hair, oh yeah….life was easy breezy baby. And folks around me smoked too, it wasn’t like I didn’t have any smoking buddies.
During my drive cross country a few weeks ago I smoked. I think I smoked about 1/2 pack per day, if not more, and even when it was chilly outside and I was on an Interstate driving 75 mph. Then I arrived here and moved in with my koo koo Mother and realized I HAD to smoke, but it was just too effing cold!!! The double blizzards came days after my arrival and there I was outside shoveling and huffing and puffing and smoking was the last thing on my mind. Plus, I had no one to smoke with. Its no fun alone. All of that, in addition to, the exercise of gearing up to go outside; zipping up my parka, getting the gloves, scarf, hat, boots and earmuffs was a good five to six minute chore and then rummaging around my purse looking for the lighter and smokes — whew, it was just too much effort.
Needless to say its been a month for me today without a cigarette and I don’t know how much longer that’ll last because dealing with my Mom is super stressful. The first 3 minutes of her every morning is bearable and then it starts. The same comments, the same questions, the loud TV show, the talking to herself, the same comments, the same questions, the loud TV show, the talking to herself, the same…you get the gist.
So at this point, its either smoke or drink. Well….shit we know where that first drink takes me. I start out at the nice high end classy bar drinking a $12 glass of Merlot and a few hours later end up down the street in a sleezy dive bar chugging cheap beer and looking for the most obnoxious guy in the bar to hang out with. So,
I think I need to stick with my newest vice…dark chocolate. Stay tuned for my next blog when I discuss joining the local gym to work off the dark chocolate.